Joy, Choices & Consequences

19/3/2012

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It has been a signature month, one full of joys for my family and me. It has also taught me lessons about dealing with migraines once again.

It began with the announcement from my older son that he was re-marrying. This event, which would mark his rebirth, would take place just outside New York City and within two weeks!  We combined the trip from Toronto with a drop-in surprise at my son-in-law's 40th birthday party. It was a memorable weekend. 
At the wedding, I abandoned all restraint and got caught up in the feverish dancing. I was determined to celebrate the fact of Richard's transformation into happiness, and I was thrilled that so many other family and friends felt the same about him and his new bride.

As a long-time migraine sufferer, I have a very good idea of my triggers. One of them is avoiding extremes of emotion. (Another is being on an airplane.) At some level, I was aware of these risks when I 'let go' at the wedding. I didn't indulge in forbidden foods or liquor - I did make a deliberate choice, a very human choice, at this life-changing event.
And later in that week, back home, I suffered the consequences. My head and my body had to re-adjust. I accepted the three-day migraine -- it was the quid pro quo for a transcendent evening.

This past weekend there was another celebration - my niece's batmitzvah. The culminating event was a kids' party at a venue featuring loud music and other noises. I wanted to be there to honor her and to be with family members who I don't see often enough. I enjoyed being with them, plus the speeches, plus witnessing the growth of teenagers and young adults who were once babies and children.
I knew the noise would resound with me later on, and sure enough today I had another migraine. I wish that I could enjoy weddings and similar events as much as others, but my noise sensitivity is too great.

This month my headache frequency has been greater than normal, but I made my choices beforehand, and I am at peace with them. Now it is time to re-cultivate that sense of calmness that is my true source of strength.

 
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Joan Didion's Way with Migraines

1/2/2012

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" It was a long time before I began thinking mechanistically enough to accept migraine for what it was: something with which I would be living, the way some people live with diabetes.

And I have learned now to live with it, learned when to expect it, how to outwit it, even how to regard it, when it does come, as more friend than lodger. We have reached a certain understanding, my migraine and I. …

And once it comes, now that I am wise in its ways, I no longer fight it. I lie down and let it happen. At first every small apprehension is magnified, every anxiety a pounding terror. Then the pain comes, and I concentrate only on that. Right there is the usefulness of migraine, there in that imposed yoga, the concentration on the pain. 
For when the pain recedes, ten or twelve hours later, everything goes with it, all the hidden resentments, all the vain anxieties. The migraine has acted as a circuit breaker, and the fuses have emerged intact. There is a pleasant convalescent euphoria. I open the windows and feel the air, eat gratefully, sleep well. I notice the particular nature of a flower in a glass on the stair landing. I count my blessings.”

Joan Didion(1968), in The White Album, 1990, Noonday Press.
Ms. Didion has written 18 books and 5 screenplays.
See also my article on accepting your migraines: http://ezinearticles.com/?Migraines:-Turn-War-Into-Peace-to-Curb-Your-Suffering&id=6444149 
Re-posted in part from That M Word: A Migraine Blog
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GROUNDHOG DAY AND THE MIGRAINE DREAM

30/1/2012

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Do you remember the movie "Groundhog Day" with Bill Murray?  Weatherman Bill seems doomed to repeat his coverage of that pivotal seasonal moment, because he keeps waking up on February 2nd - the calendar refuses to change for him!

A few nights ago I had a dream which verged on a nightmare. I was trying to get in the house, but I couldn't do it; so I simply went back to the start and repeated the process, again and again and again. I could never get the key to work; I remained outside in frustration.

"Groundhog Day" was a critical success and Murray is one of my favorite comic actors -- so I have always wondered why I really, really disliked the movie. And now I've finally figured it out...it's all connected to my dream and to my migraines.

For many years I simply reacted whenever I got a migraine. What is a reaction? It's something which is automatic, a habit which is hard-wired into our brains. As I recall, my migraine thought pattern would always be something like: "Oh, no...I'm in trouble...everything's going to get harder now...have to hide this from everyone...", and a downward spiral would ensue.

And then one day someone showed me how to respond instead of reacting, to think for a moment or two before I took action. It was only then that I began to find other mental strategies to counteract the negative patterns that had held me back for so long.

Now, many years later, I avoid downward spirals when I get migraines. It is only in my dreams that the old automatic reactions hold sway.


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WHAT IF...?

17/1/2012

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If only...

If only you didn't have migraine attacks once, twice, three times a week or more, how much better life would be:
  • You would be much less frustrated and worried.
  • Your home life and social life would be better, and your career might be on track.
  • You'd feel more in control of things.
  • And suddenly you would be optimistic about the future again. 
While I can't put a halt to your physical migraine symptoms,  
I can work with you to limit your suffering, those automatic reactions coming from your brain, reactions which drag you down with every attack. And then I can help you get on the path to that better life.

Migraine sufferers can function, and function well. I do, along with thousands of others. And so can you.


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